


blue blossoms

by lillynire3



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, angst with a happy ending and then a sad ending again, kinda at least - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 12:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillynire3/pseuds/lillynire3
Summary: “Now, Lucretia, We understand that you have …lost some special someones recently. Six special someones in fact.”Her back stiffened.“My dear, have you ever heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”(who said hanahaki had to be romantic anyway)





	blue blossoms

“Now, Lucretia, We understand that you have …lost some special someones recently. Six special someones in fact.”

Her back stiffened. 

“My dear, have you ever heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”

Hanahaki. It hadn’t existed on their home world, but a few of the planes since had had it. She didn’t remember much about it, except that the afflicted coughed up flowers. She hadn’t known this plane had it, or else she might have reread her writings on the subject.

“Should you take this sacrifice, a flower will grow in your lungs. Don’t worry, it won’t kill you, not right away at least. It will be years before it gets to that point.”

“But every breath you take, you will feel it. Those six that you removed will be with you every breathing moment.”

Lucretia hid a smile. If they didn’t know her crew were on her mind every minute of her day, they weren’t as smart as she thought.

“I accept.”

“Wonderful!”

Her chest seized and for a moment, she feared she had made the wrong choice. But the moment passed, and the feeling subsided to a tightness in her lungs.

Wonderland was …hell. She had no idea how long she’d been in there, sometimes with Cam, sometimes separated from him. She started coughing, two games after her affliction began. Cam eyed her worriedly and braced her as they hobbled into the next room. 

Three podiums lay in the centre, the gaudy lights illuminating them. In glowing writing they were labelled ‘Escape Game’, ‘Healing Game’ and ‘Recovery Game’. 

“You’re doing so well, we thought we’d give you a bonus round!”

Lucretia tried to step towards the pedestal labelled ‘Healing’ but Cam firmly steered her over to the ‘Escape’ one. 

“Listen, boss, neither of us are doing too good.” He gestured with the stump of his left arm. “We need to get out of here, we can come back another time when we’re more prepared.”

She tried to argue with him but his logic swayed her. They were in no shape to continue. When the voices had told them only one of them could leave, she nearly broke down then and there. She had to go. If she got stuck in here, no one would know about the Hunger. No one would be there to look out for her family. 

By the time she stumbled out into the Felicity Wilds, bleeding heavily from a gash in her side, she was crying openly. Her sobbing gave way to coughing, fast and frantic as she tried to get enough air. Her side pulsed with each convulsion. Something soft worked its way up her throat as she hacked and she coughed it out into her hand. 

A single petal lay there, slightly damp but not as slimy as one would expect of a flower grown in a living chest cavity. It was blue, with a touch of yellow on one end. Lucretia realised she recognised it. It had grown in the fields around her home, when she was a child. She’d painted it on the cover of her first journal, the one that held her hopes of one day seeing the stars. She’d put there to remind herself where she’d come from. A little yellow house in the country, surrounded by a sea of forget-me-nots. 

~  
The guards clattered into the room dragging Angus and Merle and Taako and— Barry? He lunged for her, tussling briefly with Davenport, before his guard got a hold of him. Then her three boys grabbed at their heads and made noises of pain. Realisation dawned on Lucretia.

“Did you— did you inoculate yourselves?”

Taako stared up at her, stony faced despite the pain, a fire in his eyes that she hadn’t seen there for over a decade.

“Yes.”

“We did.” That was Merle. He looked exhausted, much worse for wear then just a few minutes before. As she watched, Taako’s knees buckled. He hit the ground, clutching the Umbrastaff in an attempt to stay upright. Merle was similarly disposed. It looked as if the guard clutching his shoulder was the only thing keeping him up.

“It’s gonna be too much, you’re gonna remember too much, it’s too— it’s too specific, you’ll be killed!” Panic was rising in her throat. Her family was back but everything was wrong, it wasn’t time yet, Magnus was dead and she hadn’t meant it to happen like this. “Why did you do that?”

It wasn’t just panic rising in her throat she realised with horror. She coughed. Not here, not now, she didn’t have time for an attack. She coughed again, palming the blue blossom as it came up.

Barry was talking, telling her to help them remember. She fought to focus, ignoring the pressure at the back of her throat. 

“Okay, listen, boys and—just try to follow along as I explain it. Don’t try to think ahead because what happens next is very important.”

And she began to explain.

She told them about their century, about coming to this world and their plan. She tried to impress upon them, how her plan was for the best, and only for a short time. She felt herself shaking as Taako stared her down with no trace of kindness in his posture, and she suppressed another cough. Merle had his head in his hands and Barry was staring into the distance, a hand pressed hard against his chest. Then there was a crash, and she started and turned to see Davenport, her Captain once again, wiping the ichor from his mouth. He was staring at her with betrayal and horror clear on his face when the door burst open to admit Magnus, alive and mostly whole. 

Lucretia stood in a room with five of her family present and aware for the first time in a decade and her chest seized. She turned away as a coughing fit took her, spitting blue blossoms into her hand and vanishing them before anyone could see.

“Ten.”

Taako was pointing the Umbrastaff at her.

“Nine.”

“Taako, I know you’re upset—”

“Eight.”

Magnus drew the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom and pointed it at her as well. She coughed again, choking on blue before swallowing it back determinedly.

She didn’t remember much after that. She remembered pleading with them, begging them to let her do this, to let her save them. Taako was utterly still and more than anything _that_ scared her. He was never still, he was always moving, always fiddling with his hair, twirling the Umbrastaff or tapping his foot. She remembered arguing and questions and her heart breaking and then the roof exploded and time seemed to speed up. 

She turned her focus back to the Light, distracted only for a moment when her Captain needed her help. Her throat burned and her chest was tight but she kept working. The battle raged around her, safe as she was in her bubble. Across the room she heard a sharp crack and then, a pillar of fire and Lup was there. They were all there and finally, finally her family was remade. 

Afterwards, she didn’t stay to argue with them. She could tell they were going to try and stop her and she couldn’t, couldn’t let them, couldn’t breathe. She transported herself to a storage room deep within the Bureau’s headquarters. She didn’t have the strength to go further. As soon as she felt the room materialise around her she fell to her knees, coughing and choking. Flower after flower appeared, no longer pristine and perfect as they had been all these years. Blood and mucus coated the petals and something larger dislodged in her chest. With one last heave, she expelled it and collapsed. 

It was the forget-me-not plant. Its stem and leaves were disproportionately small compared to its mass of roots. They were as fine as hairs and coated in blood. As Lucretia breathed her first full breath in ten years the plant began to shrivel, and within moments, it was nothing more than a dried up stem and six blue flowers. She let herself relax for a moment. Her family wasn’t perfect. It hadn’t even existed for ten years. But they were there now, and they remembered and she was, once again, loved.

~

After the end of the world, there were celebrations. The moon base echoed with music and laughter during the night, the hard work and healing kept for the daytime hours. The first night after they’d beat the Hunger, Lucretia fell asleep at her makeshift desk. She’d been directing resources and people and had thought to close her eyes for a moment during a lull. She woke four days later, the lingering effects of the casting of her spell and her Hanahaki taking their toll. She wasn’t a spry young thing anymore. She didn’t bounce back so fast. Merle had updated her on her condition, noting the dozens of tiny ruptures and abrasions on her lungs with a meaningful look. She smiled weakly and changed the topic.

It took her a further three days before Merle would let her out of bed. During that time she had no shortage of visitors. Lup floated through the door when she was eating her lunch on the first day, and Barry opened it and entered the more conventional way behind her. Lup was all smiles and forgiveness, but Barry was more uncomfortable. As they left, he’d put a hand on her shoulder and said to her:

“I understand why you did it, even if I don’t agree. I still love you, but I’m gonna need some time to sort things out.”

He left without mentioning the tears in her eyes, to her gratitude.

Magnus came to visit soon after and ended up hosting a small party in her room with their closest friends in the Bureau. It felt quieter without Noelle and Johann and the half dozen others who’d given their lives on that day, but Magnus brought a sufficient amount of alcohol and good cheer to keep the mood from getting too grim. 

Even Davenport came by. He didn’t say much to her, just climbed in a chair in the corner with a book in his lap. Later, she knew there would be arguments and explanations, but for now, they were both to tired to deny themselves the simple pleasure of each other’s company.

When she was finally well enough to leave her bedrest, she threw herself back into the rebuilding efforts with full force. Already there were plain, sturdy wooden buildings going up at the edges of major cities, housing for those who’d been displaced. She sent people, resources and money where it was needed, and when her spell slots returned, joined in the efforts herself. Though she was not so sturdy anymore, she was still an extremely powerful caster.

At night she evaded invitations and pleas for her to join the festivities as best as she could, but by the end of her first week out of bed she had to show her face. The cafeteria of the Bureau had been transformed into a sort of non-stop party. At any given time there was music and dancing, people standing around with drinks in their hands, talking or just simply being together. The kitchen had been working endlessly to supply food, but on the night she arrived at the party something new was happening.

“And that, folks, is how to make one fucking baller cake.”

Taako presented something with a flourish on the service counter and the clump of people standing around cheered and laughed. She saw someone reach for a knife and a mage hand slapped it away with just a little too much force to be jovial.

“No need for that my friend, here’s one I made earlier.” He stepped aside as a group of exasperated looking chefs began to lay out plate after plate of pre-portioned cake. 

Lucretia paused by the open doorway to the kitchen.

“Good job bro, you did excellent!” Lup crowed drifting in a circle around her brother. He laughed and smiled at her but Lucretia detected the same hollowness Lup did. 

“Are you sure we can’t hand out your cake? It looks amazing.”

“Nah, best leave that shit to the people who are paid for it,” he said, grabbing the cake with a mage hand and shoving it in a random cupboard. Lup watched reproachfully.

“Come on Lulu, I gave ‘em a show, isn’t that enough?”

She sighed.

“Fine, but we will be talking about this eventually.”

She floated through the doorway and spotted Lucretia. 

“Lucy! You came!”

“I did,” she said, watching Taako carefully out of the corner of her eye. He folded his arms and said nothing. “I’m not staying all night though, just for a bit.”

Lup stuck her tongue out at her.

“Spoilsport. Wait right here, I’m going to get Mags.” She zoomed off, gliding straight through a few people who didn’t hop aside quick enough. Taako unfolded his arms and went to walk past her. Lucretia caught his arm.

“Wait— Taako,” she began. He removed his arm from her grip, not quite ripping it away but none too gently all the same. “I haven’t gotten to talk to you, since—“

“The end of the world? Yeah, no kidding.”

“How… how have you been?”

“Hmm, lets see, better since I got back the sister who you made me forget, worse since, you know, Wonderland and the end of the fucking world.” He turned away. “Taako’s got places to be, did you have anything actually important to say or were you just here to ruin the mood?”

She took a deep breath and willed herself not to snap.

“No. You enjoy the party.”

He scoffed. As Lucretia watched him turn his back from her and disappear back into crowd, she felt a familiar tickle in her throat. She turned away and coughed into her hand. Into her hand fell a small purple bloom, delicate petals peeled back like so many pages of a book. This too, was a flower she knew. A tale from another plane, another life, drifted to the forefront of her mind. A vain god, a dead lover and flowers that grew from his blood. Purple hyacinth. _Please forgive me_.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! thanks for reading! this is the first work i've posted in taz and also in general for the last like three years, so i'd love to hear you're thoughts. it's inspired by a piece of art i did and thought 'oh hey i could write a short drabble to go with this!'. here we are, two thousand words later.
> 
> EDIT: art [here](http://painting-lillies.tumblr.com/post/172373930817/now-lucretia-we-understand-that-you-have-lost) :)


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